Leave it to me to start a blog and then walk away for 20 days and never update it. A lot has happened. Alyssa actually ended up admitted to the hospital the wednesday following my inital post and she was there until saturday. It was weird because although in the beginning I was a hysterical crying mess it was acutally quite healing. So much of the same stuff that she had gone through in the NICU alone happened again, but this time we got to be there to hold her hand and let her know everything was going to be OK. The CT scan was much less scary in real life than it was in my mind, and the ambulance ride...well she LOVED it haha. If only I was wealthy enough to buy an ambulance to drive her around in she may sleep like a champ. In the end it wound up being much ado about nothing. She did have viral pneumonia, but they ran every "what if" test to be sure. In hindsight we now know that IP naturally raises your WBC, and we had no idea what her baseline was so the high number was cause for concern. She has been doing so good though she gets stronger everyday, and she has actually been letting me sleep...which I should be doing now ;) .
I have gotten so much sewing done in this last week, but I just feel like when I sew my house is neglected and vice versa. I am in the process of refolding all of my fabric and selling some of it off. I want to declutter the room. It is just sooo much stuff in so little space, but I think by the end of next month I will have it dialed in. I am giving myself an extended timeframe so I don't get disappointed in the fact it isnt done in a week. I swear I have 4 day weekends and I do not ever feel that I get stuff I want to done. I am getting better at jugling each week, and I think once Alyssa's doctor visits are further spaced I will accomplish more. Its not that I do nothing...just not all I want :) .
However, I am starting to really love being Alyssa's mom. She is just the most smiley baby for about 80% of her awake time now and it seriously melts my heart. Do not get me wrong sometimes when she is screaming I want to cry with her...shoot who am I kidding I do cry with her LOL. It is just nice to see that when she is happy she is so loving. I adore the fact that she knows my voice from across the room and will shoot me a smile....nothing better...EVER....
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
First Time...
I have decided to start blogging. Not so that anyone in particular can get a glimpse into my sould, but more so that I have yet another form or record and accountability. I figure I am on the computer enough I may as well spend some of it creating documentation that I or my daughter can look back on later in life.
Ah my daughter, parenting is supposed to be challenging. You get warned. People tell you that your life will forever be different. You brace yourself, you prepare, you wait with anticipation, and then SLAM! everything really does change. My daughter was born on Feb 10, 2007 and she did not get to come home until Feb 28. She has made it her goal in life to challenge every doctor's level of education. She was seemingly doing quite well upon arriving home. We have since had her diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder IP. She was doing awesome (and still is ;) ) except she has gotten hit with pneumonia. The fun part is her fever is stil here and if it is still here tomorrow we have to go back in for more blood work ups. I am honestly convinced that she just likes to see how much doctors *really* know. She is in good spirits, eating, drinking, doing everything a baby who is sick with a cold should be... I just cannot wait until she is back up to par!
I am sick as well which would typically be a fine excuse to fall of the excercise wagon, but I refuse to let it happen. I have yo-yo dieted for almost 8 years now, and I am OVER IT! I am bound and determined to stick to it this time. I am holding myself quite accountable. The reality is that I know that I am capable of doing it and all too often I have chosen not to. At this point I am doing it not only for myself, but also for Alyssa (my daughter). When Alyssa is old enough to run and jump and play I do NOT want to be sitting by the side lines in a puddle of self-pity when I could be up running and playing with her. I want to be there with her, and I want her to know that I am excited to be there. Also I feel that self-image is something that is built early, and if my self image is down hers may suffer as well. I do not want that for her! If I can get to a healthy weight where I feel good about myself I know that the rest of life will seem a bit "easier" in a way. Its odd how weight plays such a major role in life, but it does! I don't want to go dancing or even bowling out of fear of someone seeing my big booty. Pictures make me cringe! I am quite an outgoing person and some of that lingers even when the weight is lingering, but I do truly lose part of me with each pound I gain. I want to be "ME" again! I want to be excited to go out and get dressed and buy clothes and primp! I want it to be thrilling! I know it will be!
I want to get it off by my birthday on August 23! I know if I stick to it I can at least be almost done by that point :) ....
Ah my daughter, parenting is supposed to be challenging. You get warned. People tell you that your life will forever be different. You brace yourself, you prepare, you wait with anticipation, and then SLAM! everything really does change. My daughter was born on Feb 10, 2007 and she did not get to come home until Feb 28. She has made it her goal in life to challenge every doctor's level of education. She was seemingly doing quite well upon arriving home. We have since had her diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder IP. She was doing awesome (and still is ;) ) except she has gotten hit with pneumonia. The fun part is her fever is stil here and if it is still here tomorrow we have to go back in for more blood work ups. I am honestly convinced that she just likes to see how much doctors *really* know. She is in good spirits, eating, drinking, doing everything a baby who is sick with a cold should be... I just cannot wait until she is back up to par!
I am sick as well which would typically be a fine excuse to fall of the excercise wagon, but I refuse to let it happen. I have yo-yo dieted for almost 8 years now, and I am OVER IT! I am bound and determined to stick to it this time. I am holding myself quite accountable. The reality is that I know that I am capable of doing it and all too often I have chosen not to. At this point I am doing it not only for myself, but also for Alyssa (my daughter). When Alyssa is old enough to run and jump and play I do NOT want to be sitting by the side lines in a puddle of self-pity when I could be up running and playing with her. I want to be there with her, and I want her to know that I am excited to be there. Also I feel that self-image is something that is built early, and if my self image is down hers may suffer as well. I do not want that for her! If I can get to a healthy weight where I feel good about myself I know that the rest of life will seem a bit "easier" in a way. Its odd how weight plays such a major role in life, but it does! I don't want to go dancing or even bowling out of fear of someone seeing my big booty. Pictures make me cringe! I am quite an outgoing person and some of that lingers even when the weight is lingering, but I do truly lose part of me with each pound I gain. I want to be "ME" again! I want to be excited to go out and get dressed and buy clothes and primp! I want it to be thrilling! I know it will be!
I want to get it off by my birthday on August 23! I know if I stick to it I can at least be almost done by that point :) ....
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