OK. I am the world's worst blogger...really. However, it is a new year and I am determined to do better. I really want to work on checking in at least biweekly ... hopefully more but really that would be an achievement. 2007 was a hectic year that is now being delightfully referred to as a flaming turd with a silver lining. As I stopped to look back today I did my fair share of crying. It really was a roller coaster of a year.
I would have never imagined how much of an advocate I would become last year. I mean never. I know stuff now that I wish I did not, but on the other hand I am grateful I do know. I learned a lot watching my daughter grow. In ways it was almost forced. I mean what were my options? Ask her doctors to research her disorder extensively? How is that fair? I mean it isn't an entirely common disorder and it can go sooo many ways... if I had left it to them odds are she would still be laying in an isolette hooked to tubes. Luckily for all of us we left it to the Lord instead. Now this is not to say she doesn't have awesome doctors. We have been so blessed by those that we have come to know, but it is nice to know that we are in full disclosure of what is going on with Alyssa.
Looking back I suppose the two things about 2007 that stand out the most are My daughter's birth and my faith in G*d coming to be...and ironically the two could not be more interweaved. Nothing could have brought me to him the way she did. Nothing. As I stopped to think today that we are 41 days away from her first birthday I realized that she has done so much in so little time. She has taught me so much and she hasn't even learned to talk. She is honestly the strongest person I know. Do you know how hard that is to admit? That the strongest person you know weighs less than 15 pounds? She really is though. I could have never pulled through what she does and she does it with all of His grace. I love that she is just so incredibly "Alyssa" every step of the way. She has never done one thing that 'they' say she will...and I adore her for it.
I am curious as to what the second year has to bring, but apprehensive as well. I am going into it with the theory that Alyssa will do everything she is supposed to do. Now, take that for what it is. She may not do everything a 'typical' child will do, but I feel very strongly that we will give her every outlet available to achieve everything she is supposed to.
I could have never predicted how last year would go. So, I am not even going to attempt to dictate how 2008 will go. I hope it is a bit easier on us, but I know it will be just as hard as it is supposed to be... as difficult as that is to think about. Overall, I am looking forward to it and trying not to look back too much.